Okay, so you listen like you've never listened before. You talk like you've never talked before. you stop like you've never stopped before. You think like you've never thought before. Now before I run you off I think I might actually have a point to those thoughts.
You think to yourself, wow noone has ever actually taken time out of their day to stop and talk to you or even stop and listen to you. But in reality it really caught you off guard because someone might actually care for a change. Hopefully. You think they have never even spoken to you but in fact when they try to speak to you. You just blow them off as if they aren't even there. After all, all they are trying to do is get through to you. Sometimes you don't even realize it until it is too late. Being late is just another mistake. You can't backtrack time, all you can do is hope that they try again to get through to you. When they stop trying is when you get worried and you ask to talk to them. Thinking, yeah right, they won't talk to you because your three to five years younger and have no higher education. But when they actually agree agree to talk to you, you are indeed pumped about it. Then when you sit down to talk, you talk about something that is really on your heart and has really hurt you in the past. But talking about it has really eased the pain. Just a little bit. Really every little bit helps in this case. The pain that has been built up for years has somehow been released but not for good. You know you are going to have to continue to counsel with your worst nightmareor in some cases your best pal. While talking to this person, you realize about half-way through the conversation that she is goign to get your deepest secret out of you. After realizing that she is goign to get your secret, that you have hidden for years, out. You think to yourself, is she going to think any different of me from here on out. Hopefully not. But hten you also have the fear of her telling others your secret. Then what do you do. Absolutely nothing. You can't erase the past you can only hope for a promising future. But then again she also knows that if she says anything it might put a damper on the relatonship that might be at hand. You see I would never again trust anyone else probably for a very long time. Maybe, perhaps, learning to trust in this situation is the best thing for me right know. I am not completely sure. Only GOD knows what is in store for me. And may it be a promising and hopeful future for me.
I know that this may seem like a long and very rambling blog but I feel that I needed to say this much. Maybe not the rambling part. But anyways thanks for reading it anyways. I love you for reading my most daring thoughts.
