Sunday, February 27, 2005
New Life
What is new with everyone. I think I'm done with this bolg thing for a little bit. At least for now too much going on, I'll tell you the scoop as soon as I know something more positive.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Footprints
Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together.
For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace.
But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns.
For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling His consistently.
You and Jesus are walking as true friends!
This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking precisely in His steps.
Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Jesus are becoming one.
This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger.
Eventually they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints they have become one.
This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place.Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints.
You are amazed and shocked. Your dream ends.
Now you pray: "Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You."
"That is correct."
"And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps , following You very closely."
"Very good.. You have understood everything so far."
When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way."
"Precisely."
"So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first."
There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice.
"You didn't know? It was then that we danced!"
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to weep, a time to laugh, A time to mourn, and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1,4.
For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace.
But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns.
For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling His consistently.
You and Jesus are walking as true friends!
This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking precisely in His steps.
Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Jesus are becoming one.
This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger.
Eventually they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints they have become one.
This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place.Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints.
You are amazed and shocked. Your dream ends.
Now you pray: "Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You."
"That is correct."
"And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps , following You very closely."
"Very good.. You have understood everything so far."
When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way."
"Precisely."
"So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first."
There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice.
"You didn't know? It was then that we danced!"
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to weep, a time to laugh, A time to mourn, and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1,4.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
23 days to colorado
so i finally get to go to colorado random i know but this past week i was invited to go to colorado during spring break i know it will be fun but i will miss my blogging therefore i have to write quite a bit before and after i am there. oh and i will have to take picture for T if anyone has any insight on this please let me know until then happy blogging
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Something New In The Making
Okay, so you listen like you've never listened before. You talk like you've never talked before. you stop like you've never stopped before. You think like you've never thought before. Now before I run you off I think I might actually have a point to those thoughts.
You think to yourself, wow noone has ever actually taken time out of their day to stop and talk to you or even stop and listen to you. But in reality it really caught you off guard because someone might actually care for a change. Hopefully. You think they have never even spoken to you but in fact when they try to speak to you. You just blow them off as if they aren't even there. After all, all they are trying to do is get through to you. Sometimes you don't even realize it until it is too late. Being late is just another mistake. You can't backtrack time, all you can do is hope that they try again to get through to you. When they stop trying is when you get worried and you ask to talk to them. Thinking, yeah right, they won't talk to you because your three to five years younger and have no higher education. But when they actually agree agree to talk to you, you are indeed pumped about it. Then when you sit down to talk, you talk about something that is really on your heart and has really hurt you in the past. But talking about it has really eased the pain. Just a little bit. Really every little bit helps in this case. The pain that has been built up for years has somehow been released but not for good. You know you are going to have to continue to counsel with your worst nightmareor in some cases your best pal. While talking to this person, you realize about half-way through the conversation that she is goign to get your deepest secret out of you. After realizing that she is goign to get your secret, that you have hidden for years, out. You think to yourself, is she going to think any different of me from here on out. Hopefully not. But hten you also have the fear of her telling others your secret. Then what do you do. Absolutely nothing. You can't erase the past you can only hope for a promising future. But then again she also knows that if she says anything it might put a damper on the relatonship that might be at hand. You see I would never again trust anyone else probably for a very long time. Maybe, perhaps, learning to trust in this situation is the best thing for me right know. I am not completely sure. Only GOD knows what is in store for me. And may it be a promising and hopeful future for me.
I know that this may seem like a long and very rambling blog but I feel that I needed to say this much. Maybe not the rambling part. But anyways thanks for reading it anyways. I love you for reading my most daring thoughts.
You think to yourself, wow noone has ever actually taken time out of their day to stop and talk to you or even stop and listen to you. But in reality it really caught you off guard because someone might actually care for a change. Hopefully. You think they have never even spoken to you but in fact when they try to speak to you. You just blow them off as if they aren't even there. After all, all they are trying to do is get through to you. Sometimes you don't even realize it until it is too late. Being late is just another mistake. You can't backtrack time, all you can do is hope that they try again to get through to you. When they stop trying is when you get worried and you ask to talk to them. Thinking, yeah right, they won't talk to you because your three to five years younger and have no higher education. But when they actually agree agree to talk to you, you are indeed pumped about it. Then when you sit down to talk, you talk about something that is really on your heart and has really hurt you in the past. But talking about it has really eased the pain. Just a little bit. Really every little bit helps in this case. The pain that has been built up for years has somehow been released but not for good. You know you are going to have to continue to counsel with your worst nightmareor in some cases your best pal. While talking to this person, you realize about half-way through the conversation that she is goign to get your deepest secret out of you. After realizing that she is goign to get your secret, that you have hidden for years, out. You think to yourself, is she going to think any different of me from here on out. Hopefully not. But hten you also have the fear of her telling others your secret. Then what do you do. Absolutely nothing. You can't erase the past you can only hope for a promising future. But then again she also knows that if she says anything it might put a damper on the relatonship that might be at hand. You see I would never again trust anyone else probably for a very long time. Maybe, perhaps, learning to trust in this situation is the best thing for me right know. I am not completely sure. Only GOD knows what is in store for me. And may it be a promising and hopeful future for me.
I know that this may seem like a long and very rambling blog but I feel that I needed to say this much. Maybe not the rambling part. But anyways thanks for reading it anyways. I love you for reading my most daring thoughts.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Counselors/ Therapists
So do they really help treat our life's indiscretions? I think it really depends on the person and on the persons situations. Well in my situation no one really knows it except for a select few. But as the years have passed I have discovered that it has become harder and harder to hold the pain in. For some reason I just can't release the pain though. For some it is relatively easy but for me it quite difficult possibly due to the pain i have been through. Anothe rreason I have found it quite diffucult to release the pain is due to lack of self-confidence. Because I have little to no self-esteem it is so hard to tell even the closest of friends my secret. You see, I am so afraid that people will tell other people and the other people will tell other people and so forth on down the chain of friends until pretty much it seems that the whole world knows you r secret. I don't really want everyone to know what my secret is. If I wanted a lot of people to know my past, trust me, I would have already announced it on Channel 5 news. But I haven't therefore I haven't told the world. I would like to keep it that way for now. Another reason I don't tell others' my so called secret is I am afraid of losing what friendships I do have among the group I hang out with. Also I seem to seclude myself within my own body more times than not. Why I seclude myself I am not sure. Maybe that is what the therapists are for, for now.
Now what I just wrote about has to do with therapists and counselors I am not sure. Hopefully I can determine that in the weeks to come. But as for the few that actually read this, I applaud you and I also hope to hear from you soon.
Now what I just wrote about has to do with therapists and counselors I am not sure. Hopefully I can determine that in the weeks to come. But as for the few that actually read this, I applaud you and I also hope to hear from you soon.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
What do you do when life gets to be too much?
So what do you do when life does get to be too much. Recently I have found life to be so overwhelming that I just want to be alone. Very alone. So alone that I don't want to even be seen or heard or even close to anyone. So what do you do? You do what only you think you can do. You get alone and secluded and get all earthlydistraction out of your hindsight. (Not sure if that made sense, I hope it did anyways). If you don't feel better then, I don't know what would make you feel better. The only thing that would possibly make your life all the more pleasant is God. He says in Psalm 3:3&4. But you are a shield around me, O Lord; You Bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from is holy hill. (Thanks Melissa for the verse.) That is my answer for happiness in my situations and if that doesn't make anyone or myself any more happier I don't know what would. Life for me shouldn't be too hard or complicated because I don't have a full-time job. I don't really have a life outside of my family life. I spend most of my time either at work, sleeping, or watching the televsion. So why is it then that I am so incredibly unhappy. I can only pray that life itself will get better for me and for others that may be in the same situation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)