Who is God? Is He understandable all the time? At times I'm not sure I understand why he allows certain situations to happen. Can I get over the anger to learn about God? It simply is the truth that I don't know who God is anymore. I still don't see how people say that their God is guarding them. When I have yet to see him gurading me and my family. I have lost all belief of God at this point in my life. Or maybe it was that maybe I never quite grasped the full understanding of God himself. How restore your faith in him if it seems that you have lost it? I have much gain with god in my life. But if I dont trust and believe in him there is no hope for me. What does He have in store for me? Am I to be a subconconscious paranoid? SHould I worry about stupid things? Should I angry at the church for silly things? Should I be angry all the time? Oh here's another question, should I be angry at myself all the time for my very unsuccessful life? It is truly my choice what happens to me in very uneventful so called life of mine.
Life is so short and yet we/I try so hard to be happy that I believe we just just make ourselves unhappy. Trying to be happy is just part of life. Happiness is overratted. (For me anyways) Seriously, why be happy. According to the people I work with, I am so unforgivingly unhappy, mad at everyone. Truly I am not. I seem to repeat myself over and over again. Why is that? Why can't people just listen to me and understand the words coming out of my poor pathetic mouth. Harsh words words I know. If you had as horrible of a day at work as I did. You too would be harsh. How can someone know me for so little of a time. Put words into my mouth. Rude. But maybe I'm rude. So my question now is, why should I care what God has in store me? Why should I make an effort to succeed? How do I not know that maybe my life will be cut short? Do I want it to be cut short? You answer that for me. Maybe the answer is yes and maybe it is no. Who knows. But for now maybe I should be content with the life that has been presented to me. Just be happy with the way things are playing out. Be happy with the stinky job. Be grateful that I love a God even though I'm mad at him for now. I can safely say, I don't understand the god I serve. Who does?
Please decipher this very rare very destructive view of God and life in itself.
2 comments:
Yeah, much easier to read on Firefox, but I still haven't looked at it on IE. I guess now it doesn't matter.
BTW, didn't I leave a comment already?
B~
Yeah you did on haloscan but since I don't have haloscan anymore its like you didn't leave a comment.
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